LLAMACOPALYPSE, we are in a debate on how to say it.

I am saying Llama-Cop-alips

The girls are saying lumaca-lips

How do you say it?

ref: 11/11/11 The LLAMACOPALYPSE!!! facebook event and the Llama Society.

From His Llamaness, Dollar Llama

Ok Llama’s, the article below stemmed from a heated argument between Hannah and I where bottles were thrown and a combined 74 stitches were administered between the two of us as well as IV fluid and a splint for my left arm.

She has argued that we are mispronouncing the Llamacopalypse. (Llama-Cop-a-lips) she is saying lumok-a-lips.

Below is the historical discussion in full.

From Llama Lindy, the creator of Llamacopalypse

Well, considering the chicks are missing an entire syllable I think I would go with ours.

Half the fun is not being able to easily say it. That is why Ignacious Llama used that word. In his essay, “Llamacopalypse, the Word Women Have Difficulty Saying”. He spent decades analyzing it and perfecting the pronunciation. He final verdict was: while many women are very pretty, they have difficulty saying Llamacopalypse correctly and admitting when they are wrong.

Interesting footnote to that essay is that the two women who were able to say it without error, mentioned directly in the writings, became High Llama Priestesses and founded the Utica chapter which was later folded into the Illuminati.

Which reminds me, we should probably put the word out to the Skull and Bones and see if we can get some dual memberships going.

From Greg “White Doug” Llama, Keeper of Llama Llore

But of course you have to recall the writings of arguably the most significant High Llama Priest St. Pierre Llama The First around 327 L.E. In those scrolls(1) he noted his concern that the ancient dialect of Llamaese had fallen out of use. The general populace of the time had come to know the Llamacalypse as “Llamacopalypse”. He was quite concerned that continued use of the term Llamacalypse by priests and others “in the know” was a detractor from the event itself. The word no longer conveyed the proper understanding of and respect for the event. Basically he was worried that future generations would be confused by the original term Llamacalypse as it was now known by the masses as Llamacopalypse.

In fact, the ancient term Llamacalypse at that time had already come to be known as a most vulgar phrase. Unfortunately, the exact meaning of the redefined word Llamacalypse has been lost to history. One possibility may be some nasty reference to ones mother. Others believe the word refers to the now extinct Lamaca, a close relative of the alpaca. Lamacas were believed to have most unattractive (even disgusting) lips and so the word llamacalypse breaks down to “lamaca lips” and is used as a jab about the recipients looks.

(1) Great amounts of research has been done into the writings of St. Pierre Llama The First. Most notably, Doug’s Ancient Llamaese Lexicon, Second Edition (The Lexicon) contains a veritable treasure trove of knowledge pertaining to the sacred writings of St. Pierre Llama The First. Much of this information was obtained directly from the ancient scrolls. The Lexicon is considered by all respected professionals and modern Llama practitioners alike as the de-facto standard in all things Llama.

As declared by the Llama Chick Sect Spokesllama, Hannah Llama of the New Shoe Level

Nice try. Fallacies:
1. Why would one refer to St. Pierre Llama rather than the source, the Great Llama himself?

2. “…as it was known by the masses as Llamacopalypse.” Errant presumption. The Great Llama following is not for the masses; only for the Chosen Few.

In 534 BC, Queen Rajallama of Bir Abu Fas was summoned by the Great Llama Himself. After a 500 mile journey to Jabal Shallamana, Queen Rajallama ascended the 777 steps to the great llama temple, Hut-netcher Nebu Llama. There she entered the royal court of the all-wise Great Llama. It was during this visit that Great Llama foretold of the date 11-11-11, which he proclaimed would be a celebration of a space-time continuum, a glitch in time where the end meets the beginning. Great Llama deemed this day “Llamacalypse,” and shared with Queen Rajallama that this would be a day of great celebration and honor to those who are the Chosen. The Queen was instructed to decree the coming of the Llamacalypse, and to declare that all generations would meditate and fast on the 11th day of the 11th month of every year until the great event arrives.

Before leaving, Great Llama blessed Queen Rajallama, and honored her with a prophecy – that one of her descendents would attend this event, and be honored as the Queen Hannallama.

Queen Rajallama returned to Bir Abu Fas and decreed the words of the Great Llama. For centuries, the Chosen have prepared for the arrival of Llamacalypse.

-Ref. Llamapedia

From Greg “White Doug” Llama, Keeper of Llama Llore

However, in the most sacred Rama Llama Ding Dong, Chapter 4, Verse 2 (from the NLV mind you) the Great Llama himself declares language as a potential hindrance and should not be used as a club to befuddle his most beloved followers. I quote, “Therefore my Llamas, do not hinder yourselves or your fellow Llamas nor even the misguided gentiles. Judge not the words of your Llama Priest lest ye be spat upon with great disdain.”

And you are correct that there are a chosen few. However Sister, I ask you to define “masses.” How many make a mass of followers? Can it not also pertain to the ever-growing populace of Great Llama followers? Indeed, the Great Llama shows us the way here as well, also in Rama Llama Ding Dong, Chapter 1, Verse 3; “Therefore Beloved Brethren, wherever two or more of you are gathered in my name, so shall I be there in your presence. And through me so shall every other Llama brother spirit be in your presence.”

From Llama Lindy, the creator of Llamacopalypse

Final Word

Much Llama wisdom has been revealed but there is only one, true answer that rises above all. The Llamacolypse is the true Llamacopalypse and history and Llama lore only allows the Llamapocolypse to be spelled and pronounced in a single, true Llamapoctolyptical form. ‘Ware the true power of the Llamacopalipse. The Llamamapocoplyse is marching through time to your door and you best get it right before the hour of the Llama is upon you.

The majority of guard llamas in the U.S. are patrolling Western ranches. But with larger predators like coyotes moving eastward, more flock owners might be interested in llamas as guardians.

Cameron Walker for National Geographic News

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/06/0610_030610_llamashepherds.html

Page 138, Section C, subsection 48

All new Llama’s must be announced publicly and may not be withheld from Llama board members. Any violation will result in stoning of the new llama and the llama who granted llamahood.

This may sound pretty medieval but there have always been minor issues in the actual definition of “stoning.” There is the traditional method of one throwing rocks, and a more recent definition related to the condition of “being stoned.”

Until this dispute is settled there is a lack of a formal procedure to the “stoning” tradition so, for the most part, it is largely enacted as verbal taunts/threats through facebook or other public forums and is left at that. There has only been one actual documented event pertaining to subsection 48 but nobody ever documented it.

Llama do you think they’ll mow our field
Llama do you think they’ll fence our land
Llama do you think they’ll force us into stalls
Ooooh, aah. Llama should I jump the wall

Llama should I spit in the herder’s face
Llama should I bite his wife’s fine lace
Llama will they make me into lean ground beef
Ooooh, aah. is it safer to be a duck

Hush now llama, llama don’t you hum
Herder’s gonna keep you in the green grazing land
Herder’s gonna try to make beef stew out of you
Herder’s gonna shave all your fur to make mits
He won’t let you orgle but he might let you spit
Herder will keep llama trapped and well fed

Ooooh, llama. Ooooh, llama.
Ooooh, llama Of course llama can always jump the wall

Llama did you think grazing land is for free
Llama did you think you could live life carefree
Llama will the herder put you in a tart
Ooooh, aah, llama will escape the dart

Hush now llama, llama don’t you hum
Llama’s gonna orgle and draw them all to you
Llama will spit on anyone who’s untrue
Llama’s gonna watch and not get trapped in
Llama will always be on top in the end
Llama’s gonna keep very healthy and lean

Ooooh, llama. Ooooh, llama.
Ooooh, llama You’ll always be meatloaf to me

Llama, why is the fence made so high?

You always talk about the Llama.

2nd Rule of Llama Club:

You ALWAYS talk about the Llama.

3rd Rule of Llama Club:

If somebody says Llama, you return with a LLAMA.

4th Rule of Llama Club:

There is no limit to the amount of times you say Llama.

5th Rule of Llama Club:

Llama will continue until a non-Llama is confused.

6th Rule of Llama Club:

If a non-Llama is in the conversation, they HAVE to say Llama.

The Society of the Llama encompasses everything while embracing nothing. Llamas continue thrive through their ironic ambiguity to their true meaning.

For those that wonder “What is the llama?” they have already traveled the first step of three to becoming a full llama. By asking of the llama is acknowledging its existence and, therefore, have taken the first step into the fold.

The second step happens when the person is told that they are now well on their way to becoming a llama by asking that question. There confusion and perplexity of already being accepted by questioning drives them deeper into the mystery of the llama. This deeper confusion is rarely associated with a realization or break through of what the llama is but it does result in more questions on the nature of the llama which sends them into a llama spiral.

The third tier of llama becoming is when they finally realize that there is no secret to the llama, that the llama just “is” and must simply be accepted. They may either give up trying to understand or actually come to the realization that there is no realization to come to. Either way, it is this acceptance of Llama that finishes their journey into the Llama herd.

That said, you become a llama when you decide you are a llama. You don’t need another llama telling you that you are a llama when you already know you are llamanized. Anybody may claim llamatopia at any moment and they will be entirely accepted as a full llama by any other llama. If you want acknowledgement and official recognition as a llama you will have to enact llamatology and spread the llama, but to be a llama…you just need to be a llama.

For those that wonder “What is the llama?” they have already traveled the first step of three to becoming a full llama. By asking of the llama is acknowledging its existence and, therefore, have taken the first step into the fold.

The second step happens when the person is told that they are now well on their way to becoming a llama by asking that question. There confusion and perplexity of already being accepted by questioning drives them deeper into the mystery of the llama. This deeper confusion is rarely associated with a realization or break through of what the llama is but it does result in more questions on the nature of the llama which sends them into a llama spiral.

The third tier of llama becoming is when they finally realize that there is no secret to the llama, that the llama just “is” and must simply be accepted. They may either give up trying to understand or actually come to the realization that there is no realization to come to. Either way, it is this acceptance of Llama that finishes their journey into the Llama herd.

That said, you become a llama when you decide you are a llama. You don’t need another llama telling you that you are a llama when you already know you are llamanized. Anybody may claim llamatopia at any moment and they will be entirely accepted as a full llama by any other llama. If you want acknowledgement and official recognition as a llama you will have to enact llamatology and spread the llama, but to be a llama…you just need to be a llama.